.... Of New Years and New Beginnings!

In ending the year, I had been thinking on what to share going into the coming year and I am glad I found these quotes....

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. 
- Hal Borland




We will open the book. Its pages are blank. 
We are going to put words on them ourselves. 
The book is called Opportunity 
And its first chapter is New Year's Day. 
- Edith Lovely Price  

 SPICY - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

WISHING EVERYONE A POSITIVELY DEFINITIVE 2013!

The Will and The Prayer

Jesus knew his assignment from the inception of his birth. His destiny and purpose were clearly mapped out. He knew and accepted the assignment to come and show mankind the way. He accepted the responsibility and that became his will and declaration through out his time on earth. Jesus was born for a purpose and the same can be said of us

‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart’ (Jeremiah 1 Vs 5)

God would not have sent Jesus if he (Jesus) wasn't willing to be the LAMB OF GOD for mankind. God does not coerce or make us do anything contrary to our wishes. We are created responsible, with the right to choose and the ability to decide who we are and who we choose to become. When we decide, he enables us accomplish our intentions, desires, purpose and will. These are laid in our hearts to fulfill but not until we step into the acceptance and responsibility of our purpose that God ‘shows up’. Our highest (true) desires are his will to empower and help us accomplish.

Jesus at the highest accomplishment of his birth and purpose is written to have prayed at Gethsemane

 ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken away from me. Yet not as I will but as you will’ (Matthew 26 Vs 39).

By this prayer, he wasn't registering a reluctance or an absence of his will to bear the cross set before him. He wasn't asking for a way out of the purpose he came to accomplish either; he was simply having a ‘human experience'. That point when we look at the responsibility of the task or sacrifice before us and balk at it even for a brief moment. That in my opinion was the experience of Jesus in the moment. He was preparing for his highest assignment; crucifixion on the cross at Calvary. A responsibility he had accepted in oneness with God and for a moment he showed ‘human weakness’ in human form.  

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” - Teilhard de Chardin

The prayer of Christ that night in the garden of Gethsemane draws an understanding that when our desires and will are in alignment with God, the will of God is no different from ours but IS ultimately greater in its accomplishments.

As Jesus prayed the Gethsemane prayer, he was asking for strength from the Father to fulfill a purpose that will impact humanity and redirect the course of our relationship with God, ourselves and with others. He was asking for grace and God’s enabling power to pull off a life changing purpose. He was defining THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE.

The purpose of his birth and life was for a solution; to bridge the gap between mankind and God the creator. He became our example and set his will a sacrifice for humanity. He came and exemplified the divine nature of God in human form and the love of God to mankind, a sacrifice steeped in love.

As the examples of Christ show, when we then pray, what are we asking of God concerning our desires, will and purpose? 

Have we identified our will and do we know it to be in alignment with God? 

Do we understand where our desires spring from? 

What are we asking grace and strength for? 

What are you asking God for help or to enable you accomplish or become?

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favour in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” - Henry David Thoreau

The will of God does not deny nor excuse us from the responsibility and the choice to choose and decide. When our desires and intentions are in line with GOD’S WILL and these desires are true, springing from love to self and ultimately towards others then we have engaged his will and have his help. He made everything (all things) available in abundance from the time of creation. 

To align our will within the grand will and desire of God we need to come into the KNOWLEDGE of self (who we are) to the UNDERSTANDING of our desires, will and purpose, the VALUE of our desire and intentions to God and mankind (humanity) and their FOUNDATION. Are these intentions and desires a self serving wish or a will springing from love?

We are in the season of celebrations, the remembrance and joy of the birth of Christ and the beginning of a brand New Year. A season and time of good will, kind wishes, prayers and love, a period of preparations and preparedness.  

As you celebrate and look ahead to the coming year, 

what are you celebrating of yourself? 

What are your intentions, desires, will and purpose going into the New Year? 

What solutions and examples can you achieve or become? 

How aware are you of the resources and abilities you have to impact your life positively and others? 

What is your relationship with God, yourself and others? 

What is the founding bedrock of your thoughts, intentions and desire? 

In this New Year, what will you accomplish and be celebrated for? Remember, the will of God does not deny nor excuse us from the responsibility and the choice to choose, decide and put actions to our will.

Wishing everyone the best compliments of this Season of love and a purpose filled, productive New Year!  

SPICY – Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield

Beneath the glitz, gloss and the glamour.

There is the question tugging at my heart this morning.... 'Beneath the glitz, the gloss and the glamour. Where are the women?' That is the question tugging at my heart today as I think through the year 2012 towards 2013.

And as I ponder this, I realise that beyond the question poses a challenge. Beneath the glitz, gloss and glam; Who are we? Who have we become? What are our values? What is our consciousness of our essence...

How have we allowed our innate responsibilities as women, mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, guardians of humanity to be dulled by the glint, the shine and the bling we surround ourselves with? A challenge that urges us towards a searching of our souls and the possible renewal of our minds.

My friends, sisters and fellow women. As we read this, it is my sincere hope and prayer that this question tugs at your hearts also causing us to look inwards without fear or condemnation but with honesty and truth as we open our hearts and minds to find, understand and own the compelling truths for ourselves.

BENEATH THE GLITZ, THE GLOSS AND THE GLAMOUR... WHERE ARE THE WOMEN?

Wishing us all a meaningful month with compliments of the season.

SPICY - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

SPICY NUGGET... For even an abuser is 'abused' when his/her abuse is allowed to continue.

One of the ways to measure our self worth (how we value ourselves) can be in the way we treat others and how we allow others treat us. If we are respectful of ourselves, we will treat others with respect and expect that we be treated likewise. Some may argue that it is not possible to determine or control how others treat us and for the sake of said argument... that maybe true if for some misguided reason you deem yourself unworthy. But let me emphatically reiterate that that cannot be said to be true as there is no one unworthy or without worth. We are all deserving to be treated respectfully and with decency.The difference or determinant is in what we accept or allow.


When you show yourself not accepting of behaviours and treatment that undermine your standards and self worth, ultimately others will treat you as expected. In the same way, if you are seen to be accepting of any and all forms of behaviours or treatment directed towards you, then you are sending out the message that you don't hold much value or standards for yourself and others will most likely treat you with the same attitude.

Taking my thoughts forward, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship/situation and you look to what is best for you in these situations where you are being abused, at the very least what you can do will be to stop or seek to stop the abuse. In the course of my interactions with others, I have heard people give different explanations as to why they have allowed themselves to be caught up in an abusive situation or relationship. 

In all of the explanations given, one 'revelation' I have realised is that in becoming or playing the victim, you have also chosen the role of an enabler, a fodder that feeds a negative situation. Staying in or allowing an abusive situation to continue is not good for both you and the abuser. For even an abuser is 'abused' when his/her abuse is allowed to continue. 

Without being esoteric, when an abuser finds that his abuse is not acceptable, he/she would at least learn that their actions are unacceptable and unwanted. But if the abuser finds that his abuse is accepted, what has he been allowed to discover or learn? 

Treating others with love does not necessarily mean allowing others do as they wish. This is not to suggest that if you are being hurt you have to hurt back. What this simply means is that to allow another to consistently inflict damage on you is not the most loving thing to do for yourself and the other (the abuser/offender) 

What you do for yourself you do for another. What you do for another you do for yourself. Consequently what you allow comes to you and what you give, you allow to yourself. For one does not exist without the other. 


 

SPICY - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

Speak - Create - Believe - Become

Positive words of affirmation are a fantastic way to keep one energized, focused and confident. Imagine waking up each morning, bursting with excitement, energy, thankfulness and joy for the new day! It is that powerful.

Your words of affirmation are YOUR description of who you are, what you want/to become. Affirmations are your aspirations, desires and dreams.

Affirmation - the assertion that something exists or is true; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.

Affirmations help you develop a positive mental state of mind. Professionals and business people the world over are known to use these techniques to develop personal power or gain a competitive edge and on a personal level positive words of affirmation can transform your life, your health and renew your joy and passion for life. Developing a positive mindset is a powerful life strategy.

As a Life Coach I have seen and experienced how empowering saying your positive words of affirmation everyday can be. It’s a 'tool' by which you can create the atmosphere and life you desire.

A way to call forth “those things that appear as though they're not till they become”; a declaration of faith and belief.

Positive affirmations can manifest your dreams, re-programme your thinking, help you let go of the negative patterns that work against you and adopt powerful success techniques to achieve you what you want.

Positive affirmations (words) and positive thinking (thoughts) techniques can help you develop a powerful and positive attitude to life. With these tools you can turn failure around into success and take success to outstanding possibilities. Your positive attitude is the fuel for your success.

What we believe about ourselves and life become true for us.

If we expect and believe that life is a struggle for us and that people treat us badly then that is what our experience will be. Likewise if we love ourselves and believe that we deserve all good in our lives and have a right to loving healthy relationships that is what we will experience. Our beliefs define our reality.

When you daily say your affirmation they keep you in mind of who you are, what your life goals are, your desires, where you are headed and why. They guide you. They keep you reminded of the things you desire. Positive words of affirmation increase your belief; they make you open to receive as you believe.

Affirmations when applied as a life tool are powerful enough to bring your desires to reality.

I AM SPICY - I Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

Personal Development

There are a few truths to living a happy successful life and one of such truth is the realization that - IT IS NOT DIFFICULT TO GET BETTER OR TO MAKE A CHANGE. To be that which is desirous; an improved version of YOU!

Everyday and ever so often, technology discovers new ways to improve itself. Our smartphones get smarter, our TVs, automobiles (cars) and gadgets get more interactive etc. Whenever this happens, there is a worldwide scramble to acquire and own these smarter technologies. They become more attractive and very desirous with every announced improvement. Everyone wants to test, explore or own one. They get talked about, written about, sought after, admired, loved and handled with the most care etc. These technologies; simple machines and gadgets fashioned by man and improved to such standards that they daily ‘live’ a quality of life most people can only dream of. Now this I found interesting and brings me to thinking :) 

Everyone desires to live a better life BUT not everyone who has expressed this desire realize that to live a better quality of life, a better you is required - A mandatory and conscious investment in Personal Development or growth.

“Everybody wants to be somebody nobody wants to grow”- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

If you don’t invest to improve yourself as an individual, chances are you won’t be liked much by many. If you don’t invest to improve yourself at your job, chances are you will get passed over often for promotions. If you don’t invest to develop your gifts and talents, chances are you won’t achieve success. If you don’t invest to improve your skills in life, chances are you will be dissatisfied with life.

Personal development is not about grooming or physical hygiene neither is it about designer labels or expensive lifestyles. Personal Development is a growth from within. It is about self discovery; knowing and creating who you are or who you want to be.

“Know thyself means this, that you get acquainted with what you know and what you can do” - Menander

“Personal Development includes activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations” - Wikipedia

At the level of the individual, Personal Development includes the following activities:

Improving self-awareness

Improving self-knowledge

Building or renewing identity

Developing strengths or talents

Improving wealth

Spiritual development

Identifying or improving potential

Building employability or human capital

Enhancing lifestyle or the quality of life

Improving health

Fulfilling aspirations

Initiating a life enterprise or personal autonomy

Defining and executing personal development plans

Improving social abilities

Much like our smarter technologies, it is imperative to constantly look for ways to improve oneself. If you are not living the life you want, if you are not getting ahead at work, if you are not getting the results you want from your relationships etc it would follow that you are most likely not doing the things you should and need to do.

Scientists and technologists spend hours, days, weeks, months and years looking for ways to improve science and technology for solution, effectiveness and efficiency. Translate that to an individual who is highly invested in Personal Development. He/She constantly evolves to become an attractive entity, firmly equipped to create and live a desirous and fulfilling quality of life. They are individuals ahead of the pack; the high achievers, the confident personalities, in touch with humanity, successful and living the great life!

Personal Development starts with a decision and a conscious commitment to growth. To be and realize the best that you can be at all times and to experience the best life possible for you.

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

Love is Tough - A passionate reminder...

There is an explosion of sexual recklessness today. Is anyone teaching our adolescents sexual restraint? Or have we just sat back and let uncontrolled demons out and about? 

When our teenage sons cannot find their female peers to express their sexual desires with, desires picked up from TV, internet, unrestricted magazines etc. (because their female age mates are now more interested in older men than boys their age), what do they do? They turn to younger babies to satisfy their wanton desires; our innocent and precious 2 to 8 year olds who are too young and too weak to resist or snub them. 

Are things falling apart? YES they are. We need to halt, step back and assess things oh! It is not enough to say you are raising your own kids well. Well raised kids will go out to the wider society and meet with kids that were not raised well or not raised at all. We are heading for trouble. 

Parents, we need help. Allow teachers, allow other parents, allow the community to help you raise your children. It was so in the past when my mother could depend on a friend's mother to pull my ears and send me back home if I was inappropriately dressed or, reprimand me if I exhibited bad behaviour in public. Not so now. It's the kids raising the parents today. Teaching them the ''in-thing'', and parents who are supposed to know better, falling for the ''in-thing''. What is this ''in-thing''? Since when did the in-thing raise a complete and balanced individual?

Do you realise that a teenage girl who is dressed provocatively might be the reason why a teenage boy somewhere is struggling with his own body reactions? And when he does not know what to do with his desires, he finds something or somebody to make it go away? Because ultimately what he needs is a source for sexual gratification? 

We need to stop whispering these things and begin to take personal responsibility for these children. We need to go back to participatory community development. We need to save our youth, and we need to save the future because that's where our children will be when we are gone. Ultimately, every parent's desire whether they realise it or not, is to raise children who will cope and survive this world when dad and mum are not there to make it easy for them. 

Now, step back and assess: If you are not there, will your children make it good? Arm these kids with what is necessary for survival. First, God's word. A firm introduction to that ONE standard which if they follow, will never fail them. It is the compass they need. And then follow with strict parenting. We are taking too many things for granted, and we will pay dearly for it. 

Don't turn a blind eye to what your kids are getting up to. You are a parent!!!!! Love is tough!

Written by Kandibe 

A Personal Note!

O! Lord, thou art my God; I will exalt thee. I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth -  Isaiah 25:1

I have been doing a bit of soul searching recently... A personal journey of awareness and I have discovered a couple of reaffirmation. A personal journey of  TRUTH; a reassurance and a gathering of knowledge.

I believe and I declare that God brought me to this point of happiness, contentment, self acceptance, self awareness and understanding to show and convince me of his unconditional and unreserved love for me.

God loves me! A simple fact that broach no argument or debate. Its that simple. I AM THE BELOVED OF THE FATHER! This understanding and knowledge of his love assures my belief (confidence) in myself that I am worthy to receive and live the reality of my soul desires - He has prepared a feast before me. Wow!

He infuses me with happiness to show the love that manifests my desires (prayers). This experiential knowledge (the happiness, peace, joy) that God loves me is the confidence (faith) that assures me of the answers to my prayers.

He commands the universe to lay it at my feet!

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" 


SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

Experience... Who knows the countless joys they bring!

I woke up thinking about ‘experience’ and how it affects and determines the way we live, react or respond. How it shapes our attitude, interactions, behaviour and decision making.

Experiences have the power to mark us indelibly and can therefore determine our subsequent reactions, responses or attitude in a similar situation and even remotely non related situations which we may attach same reactions based on an experience.

I have heard it said of people who for being spanked as children have made a decision not to have and even not interact with children so they are not put in a situation where they may have to spank a child. Others have become wary of relationships avoiding new friendships/relationships because of a bad experience or more, while many have resigned from jobs on account of experience etc. Examples abound everyday and this got me thinking about how we live our lives on the dictates of the PAST without giving the PRESENT or FUTURE a chance to be experienced.

To most men, experience is like the stern light of a ship, which illumines only the track it has passed.

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

Many times we become entirely trapped in the negativity of an experience and miss out the opportunity to take from the experience and create for ourselves a happy, full and vibrant life. We withhold ourselves from embracing life focusing only on what went wrong, what could go wrong, what was lost and not what stands to be gained, enjoyed and experienced anew.

A failed relationship equates to a promised failure in future relationships. A broken trust by one translates to a certainty of broken trust by many. A hurtful past becomes indicative of an unhappy future. A loss in fortune plays the hands of a doomed destiny and the diverse dimension plays itself out endless as though on a continuous loop.  

The idea that past experiences influence future experiences was termed continuity by John Dewey. He argued that all experiences, impact on one's future, for better or worse.  Basically cumulative experience either shuts one down or opens up one's access to possible future experiences.

“If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.”

-John Heywood

I recall growing up the saying ‘experience is the best teacher’ always struck an ominous note. It was often used when recounting a bad experience. If something wrong or bad occurred it was usually summed up with ‘experience is the best teacher’ usually delivered in a resigned or stern manner thereby cloaking experience in negativity as opposed to a possible positive overview of the event. It was as though experiences could not be used to define the fun, happy or positive events of life, those which we refer to in happier terms as memory.

Somehow, ‘experience’ is largely used to describe a negative event, episode or occurrence. We also refer to institutionalised/acquired knowledge as experience but for the purpose of this writing I define experience as the nature of the events someone or something has undergone.  Experience is what is happening to us all the time - as we long we exist.

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley

I have come to view experience as a learning tool; a guide, much like a map or searchlight light that illuminates to teach, learn and empower. My experiences shouldn't take me away from living a rich and vibrant happy life; instead they should cause me to grow, learn, and appreciate life a little more. They have become to me a purpose shaping manual to be enhance understanding. Not a definitive of the negative but the promise of a possible positive reality.

There are two things that experiences teach us: the first is that we should correct heavily; the second, that is should not be too heavily.
- Eugene Delacroix.

I choose to open up and live the possibilities of future experiences… who knows the countless joys they bring.

SPICY Chrysalis – Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

#celebrate something about yourself everyday! - SPICY NUGGET!

Everyday I wake up with the mindset to live the best possible me I can be for the day. One of the ways I find to be my best is to celebrate something about myself. This mindset works to keep me in a positive and upbeat frame as I go through my day. I am centered, confident and happy to be me and give of myself to others. 

So today, I bring to us, one of the many parts of me I celebrate everyday and it is my hope it helps bring a smile to your day and remind you to celebrate something or lots of things about you today and everyday! 

...Today I celebrate my pretty beautiful finger and toe nails! 

I got my nails painted a shiny pretty pink today! 
Very pretty and I love it! 
But my pretty nails all done up in shiny pretty pink, 
Isn't what makes me pretty beautiful! 

I am beautiful all through, 
Even without the shiny pretty pink polish on my beautiful pretty finger and toe nails!





What do you celebrate about yourself today?.... Go on! There is always something to celebrate!! *wink*



SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

Life - this is to have succeeded! (SPICY NUGGET)

To laugh often and love much;

To win the respect of intelligent persons
And the affection of children;

To earn the approbation of honest citizens
And endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one’s self;

To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch,
Or a redeemed social condition;

To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
And sung with exultation;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived
...THIS IS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED!

 ― Bessie Anderson Stanley.


SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

A nation on a brink…

In a few hours, it will be another October the 1^st. Another Independence Day Anniversary for my country Nigeria. 52 years and counting as a nation; A nation tethered on despair, waiting on the wings of greatness. Teeming with opportunities; strumming with vibrancy; enshrouded in despondency.

As we count down to another Independence Anniversary, the words of a school song cheerfully sang as a young girl, assured of a future bright 25 years back plays through my mind.  A song then sang with pride but now stands to me a prayer whose reality remains trapped in the worlds of dreams, hope and belief.

Nigeria is a great Nation,

Blessed with many tribe as (diverse) people

Though we speak in different tongue

Our destiny is one

Men arise together

Let us work together

For there is a chance that we can build **

To bring this country greatness

Comrade Men and Women of honour

We need all hands on deck

Nigeria is for you and me

Unity is our goal.

Happy Independence Nigeria!

Long live the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

For some reason, I can’t stop believing that Nigeria will pull through J

** ‘hum spaces’ where I can’t remember the exact words.

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

30th September 2012 

UNIQUE is REALITY!

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are. - C.S. LEWIS

No two people see the external world in exactly the same way. To every separate person a thing is what he thinks it is -- in other words, not a thing, but a think. - PENELOPE FITZGERALD.

Perception is unique to each individual. No two people view the world exactly the same. Our Perception is the process by which we attach meaning to the world around us and our world view consists of experiences, people and environment.

Our perceptions are formed by our senses of touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. The perception process begins with a selection; a draft stage where we select the stimuli/catalyst we attend to through our sensory organs, next comes the organisation stage where we mentally arrange the information received so we understand or make sense out of it and lastly we go through the translation stage where we attach meaning to the stimulus. 

These translations or meanings are subjective and based on our values, needs, experiences, expectations, self image and other personal factors. This perception process happens really quickly, without us being aware of them.

There is, perhaps, one universal truth about all forms of human cognition: the ability to deal with knowledge is hugely exceeded by the potential knowledge contained in man's environment. To cope with this diversity, man's perception, his memory, and his thought processes early become governed by strategies for protecting his limited capacities from the confusion of overloading. We tend to perceive things schematically, for example, rather than in detail, or we represent a class of diverse things by some sort of averaged "typical instance." - JEROME S. BRUNER

Our perception oftentimes changes as we go through life. What we may hold up as true today may in a few days, weeks, months or years not be held as same due to a change in our experiences and perception. Perception therefore can be said to be our current reality. What we hold to be true or real to us in a present given situation.

It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive. - C.W. LEADBEATER

Perceptual differences are a major explanation of disputes in our world. Our everyday living at home, work etc.

Your opinion is your opinion, your perception is your perception--do not confuse them with "facts" or "truth". Wars have been fought and millions have been killed because of the inability of men to understand the idea that EVERYBODY has a different viewpoint. - JOHN MOORE

Understanding the perception process, while keeping in mind that we perceive and process each situation differently, can help create better understanding, build rapport and resolve conflicts. And we find that we are able to live a happier life, work better, stay motivated, build healthy relationships and develop a healthier lifestyle.

All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end. - NEIL GAIMAN.

SPICY Chrysalis – Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

IMAGINE

Everyday, we are constantly placed in positions of leadership whether we realise it or not. Everyday we have an opportunity to lead. It doesn’t matter if you are a business owner, a clerk, a cleaner, a department head or a housewife. We all have the capacity to lead and change or influence our environment. 

Unfortunately, a vast majority of us are of the misconception that associates leadership w

ith positions and titles. The fact is; a title doesn’t make you a leader (as we have constantly seen demonstrated in our society). 

No matter how lofty or grandiose the title is, that by itself cannot make you a leader.

Leadership is the willingness, capacity/ability to accept responsibility to bring about a change. The capacity to create and deliver a desired change, an act or instance of leading, guidance, direction. 

We have all been blessed with the capacity to lead. Anyone at any level has the ability to learn or strive to be a leader and can help shape or influence their immediate surroundings. So how many of us are willing to step up and identify with the leaders within us?

Leadership is positive influences backed by passion - passion for life and what we do. People who lead strive to make things better. Leaders ask the question, how can I make a difference? What is the problem? What can I do? Am I a solution? If you have ever asked these questions, then within you is a leader! 

Leaders realise the extraordinary impact they can have on others and the world around them. They make the decision to exercise their abilities, skills and knowledge to help make a difference. They understand that they don’t need titles or permission to lead. A title does not define you or your ability to influence and lead. Life is what you make out of it. The more you put into it the more it reflects back at you.

True leaders know that no place is too small to begin, no effort is too little to make and no impact is too insignificant to deliver. If we as individuals and citizens of our great nation Nigeria do not seek out the leaders in us and choose to lead in our various places of influence, irrespective of the teeming chaos around us, then we have no one to blame but ourselves for the continuing rot that erodes our society.

Imagine if we each identified an area of change and commit to showcasing our capacity to lead in that area? 

Imagine if by our examples, attitudes and encouragement we are able to get others to commit to the same change? 

IMAGINE with me for a minute...

IMAGINE if we commit to treating people with respect and courtesy, irrespective of status or station.

IMAGINE if we commit to extending to our staff (domestic and professional), colleagues, friends etc the hand of courtesy and appreciation?

IMAGINE if we commit to treating others no matter how ‘underserving’ with understanding and courtesy?

IMAGINE if we teach our children to commit to treating themselves and others with respect and courtesy?

IMAGINE if our doctors, nurses, health care givers commit to attending to patients with dedication and courtesy?

IMAGINE if we commit to courtesy in service to our clients and customers?

IMAGINE if our law enforcement agents commit to courtesy in carrying out their duties

IMAGINE if we commit to driving with care and courtesy on our roads?

IMAGINE if we strive consistently to commit in these areas of leadership?

IMAGINE the difference that would make in our society! 

IMAGINE the possibilities! ...IMAGINE the change!

We are all important participants to effecting a positive change in our nation. Lets us commit with a sense of urgency to our positions of leadership. We have a say, we have a role and there is something we can do.

All that is necessary for the triump of evil is that good men (women) do nothing - Edmund Burke

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

March 2012

Personal Discovery - SPICY NUGGET

"Every hour of every day I'm learning more. The more I learn, the less I know about before. The less I know, the more I want to look around. Digging deep for clues on higher ground" - UB40 (Higher Ground) 

Life is a journey of continuous growth, an adventure of constant Personal Development/Discovery and we should always strive to maintain a consistent effort to improve and grow as individuals!

The meaning of life is to FIND your own meaning in life!

'We only become what we are by the radical and deep seated refusal of that which others have made us' - John Paul Sartre

Wouldn't you want to find YOUR meaning in life?

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!

Play on words... SPICY NUGGETS!

Lets look at these two words... 

REACTIVE and CREATIVE 

Notice they are the same word or made up of the same alphabeths. The only difference is in the placement of the 'C'. When you 'C' (see) things correctly... 

You become Creative, rather than reaCtive!

What do you see? Who do you become? 

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield! 

Sept 2012

... Choose LIFE!

"If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.  If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.  If there is harmony in the house, there will be order I n the nation.  If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world." - a Chinese Proverb.

"Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving."

Choose to Love
Choose to Forgive

"Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion." - Buddha

Choose to Heal
Choose to Live

"All healing is first a healing of the heart" - Carl Townsend.

I have explored and read a lot on several different healing and forgiveness methodology but none of them will work unless you are willing to heal.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller

 .... Choose LIFE! 

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!
Sept 9th 2012

TEENAGE GIRLS, SEXUAL PLEASURE AND VIBRATORS

Heard this discussion on TV thanks to Miss Winfrey on why or was it how we should teach our thirteen year old girls to sexually pleasure themselves, own their bodies, and the use of vibrators. The idea of the topic shocked all of my sensibilities and immediately took me thinking back to my pre- teen and teenage years and for the life of me I couldn’t recall having a body much less ‘owning’ one. Specific people 'owned' my body leaving me with the functional task of seeing to its daily needs, keeping it clean, covered, fed and rested. My mother primarily owned my body, it was hers to protect, discipline, nurture and love, my brother by virtue of being older owned my body to bully (his exclusive right) and protect from external bullies, my teachers owned my body to teach and discipline within the structure of education. At thirteen my body was a vessel that took me from one stage of life to the next. Things happened to it that I was made to understand purely for knowledge, explaining my right of passage into womanhood.

The importance and need for sex education for young girls I cannot over emphasise but to encourage practical experiences at that age is overboard to my understanding. How is it ever okay to encourage our pre-teen and teenage girls to pleasure themselves and ‘own’ their bodies and then further extend it as a plus, so they are made aware not to have to rely on boys for their sexual experiences? What business does a 9year old, a 13yr old and even older have with sexual experiences, sexual pleasures and vibrators? Isn’t everything totally wrong with that picture? By this practise what will we be saying, what are we promoting? In the myriad onslaught of undesirable options, I’ll highlight one. That the natural processes of man and woman be scraped and men (our young boys) become mere tools in the scheme of life. I can veer off and for a few laughs kid about the many turmoil and challenges men have been said to bring to bear on us women and the probable world of utopia the very idea conceives. But this is a rather serious concept that I will not give in to the urge. I shudder and weep for the generation we are parenting.

Where has the age of innocence gone? What has happened to actively engaging our children in things that build mind and character without this excessive over exposure on sex and matters relating to it! Still thinking on my experiences as a pre - teen and teenager, my days went in a twirl and whirl of childhood activities that there was no room for me to conceive the thought or concept of ‘owning’ a body even if I wanted to. I recall my body been involved in various activities at home, school and church that kept it duly occupied and tired by the end of the day. What happened to the days of school games, match past, friendly street tournaments, girls guide, boys scout, girls brigade, boys brigade, local games; oga’a or ten ten and hop scotch (su’wey in local lingo)

How can we balance the world we know now and the idyllic world we once knew? How can we slow down this fast pace of growing up and allow our children to experience the joys and build the memories that only childhood can bring? What mysteries will we preserve and protect so our children can explore as they come of age? What values will we imbibe and encourage for the sake of our linage? How long will we allow the dictates of external influences rob us of the values and ideals that are intrinsically ours?

The next generation is given to us to mould and shape, a challenge not to be taken lightly. Therefore there is a need for us to regroup and start thinking responsibly as ‘parents’ within a complex world.

SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!
June 2012