Heard this discussion on TV thanks to Miss Winfrey on why or was it how we should teach our thirteen year old girls to sexually pleasure themselves, own their bodies, and the use of vibrators. The idea of the topic shocked all of my sensibilities and immediately took me thinking back to my pre- teen and teenage years and for the life of me I couldn’t recall having a body much less ‘owning’ one. Specific people 'owned' my body leaving me with the functional task of seeing to its daily needs, keeping it clean, covered, fed and rested. My mother primarily owned my body, it was hers to protect, discipline, nurture and love, my brother by virtue of being older owned my body to bully (his exclusive right) and protect from external bullies, my teachers owned my body to teach and discipline within the structure of education. At thirteen my body was a vessel that took me from one stage of life to the next. Things happened to it that I was made to understand purely for knowledge, explaining my right of passage into womanhood.
The importance and need for sex education for young girls I cannot over emphasise but to encourage practical experiences at that age is overboard to my understanding. How is it ever okay to encourage our pre-teen and teenage girls to pleasure themselves and ‘own’ their bodies and then further extend it as a plus, so they are made aware not to have to rely on boys for their sexual experiences? What business does a 9year old, a 13yr old and even older have with sexual experiences, sexual pleasures and vibrators? Isn’t everything totally wrong with that picture? By this practise what will we be saying, what are we promoting? In the myriad onslaught of undesirable options, I’ll highlight one. That the natural processes of man and woman be scraped and men (our young boys) become mere tools in the scheme of life. I can veer off and for a few laughs kid about the many turmoil and challenges men have been said to bring to bear on us women and the probable world of utopia the very idea conceives. But this is a rather serious concept that I will not give in to the urge. I shudder and weep for the generation we are parenting.
Where has the age of innocence gone? What has happened to actively engaging our children in things that build mind and character without this excessive over exposure on sex and matters relating to it! Still thinking on my experiences as a pre - teen and teenager, my days went in a twirl and whirl of childhood activities that there was no room for me to conceive the thought or concept of ‘owning’ a body even if I wanted to. I recall my body been involved in various activities at home, school and church that kept it duly occupied and tired by the end of the day. What happened to the days of school games, match past, friendly street tournaments, girls guide, boys scout, girls brigade, boys brigade, local games; oga’a or ten ten and hop scotch (su’wey in local lingo)
How can we balance the world we know now and the idyllic world we once knew? How can we slow down this fast pace of growing up and allow our children to experience the joys and build the memories that only childhood can bring? What mysteries will we preserve and protect so our children can explore as they come of age? What values will we imbibe and encourage for the sake of our linage? How long will we allow the dictates of external influences rob us of the values and ideals that are intrinsically ours?
The next generation is given to us to mould and shape, a challenge not to be taken lightly. Therefore there is a need for us to regroup and start thinking responsibly as ‘parents’ within a complex world.
SPICY Chrysalis - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!
June 2012
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