SPICY NUGGET... For even an abuser is 'abused' when his/her abuse is allowed to continue.

One of the ways to measure our self worth (how we value ourselves) can be in the way we treat others and how we allow others treat us. If we are respectful of ourselves, we will treat others with respect and expect that we be treated likewise. Some may argue that it is not possible to determine or control how others treat us and for the sake of said argument... that maybe true if for some misguided reason you deem yourself unworthy. But let me emphatically reiterate that that cannot be said to be true as there is no one unworthy or without worth. We are all deserving to be treated respectfully and with decency.The difference or determinant is in what we accept or allow.


When you show yourself not accepting of behaviours and treatment that undermine your standards and self worth, ultimately others will treat you as expected. In the same way, if you are seen to be accepting of any and all forms of behaviours or treatment directed towards you, then you are sending out the message that you don't hold much value or standards for yourself and others will most likely treat you with the same attitude.

Taking my thoughts forward, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship/situation and you look to what is best for you in these situations where you are being abused, at the very least what you can do will be to stop or seek to stop the abuse. In the course of my interactions with others, I have heard people give different explanations as to why they have allowed themselves to be caught up in an abusive situation or relationship. 

In all of the explanations given, one 'revelation' I have realised is that in becoming or playing the victim, you have also chosen the role of an enabler, a fodder that feeds a negative situation. Staying in or allowing an abusive situation to continue is not good for both you and the abuser. For even an abuser is 'abused' when his/her abuse is allowed to continue. 

Without being esoteric, when an abuser finds that his abuse is not acceptable, he/she would at least learn that their actions are unacceptable and unwanted. But if the abuser finds that his abuse is accepted, what has he been allowed to discover or learn? 

Treating others with love does not necessarily mean allowing others do as they wish. This is not to suggest that if you are being hurt you have to hurt back. What this simply means is that to allow another to consistently inflict damage on you is not the most loving thing to do for yourself and the other (the abuser/offender) 

What you do for yourself you do for another. What you do for another you do for yourself. Consequently what you allow comes to you and what you give, you allow to yourself. For one does not exist without the other. 


 

SPICY - Speak. Positively. to Inspire. and Cause. to Yield!